Post by mark on Jan 16, 2010 22:03:40 GMT 1
THE DIARY OF AN ENGLISH MAN LIVING IN THE HIGHLANDS "OUR FIRST WINTER "
DEC 20TH
it's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen
for years the wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch
watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees
and covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
DEC 24th
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering
as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and
bush covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first
time ever and loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement.
Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our
driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and
waved. I waved back and shovelled it away again. The children next
door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a
snowball fight, a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a
couple back and joined in their fun.
DEC26th
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped
to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes
snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway
again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick
again.Much of the snow is now a brownish - grey.
JAN 1st
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became
ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our
cars. Fell on my arse in the driveway. Went to a physio but nothing was
broken.
JAN 5th
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to
work. She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right
wing. Had another 8 inches of white ****e last night. Both vehicles
are covered in salt and iced up slush that ******* snowplough came by
twice today. Where's that bloody shovel.
JAN 9th
More f*****g snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been
damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing
to death with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly
torched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd
Degree burns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car hit
a f******g deer on the way to casualty and was written off.
JAN 13th
F****** b******d white ****e just keeps on coming down. Have to put on
every article of clothing just to go to the post box the little c***s
next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that
carrot so far up the little pricks arse it'll take good surgeon hours
to find it. If I ever catch the arsehole that drives the snowplough I'll
chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the
b******d hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling
and then he accelerates down the street like Michael "f*****g"
Schumacher and buries the f******g driveway again.
JAN 17th
16 more sodding inches of f*****g snow and f*****g ice and f*****g
sleet and god knows what other white ****e fell last night. I am in court
in
3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice - pick.
Can' t move my f*****g toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus20
and more f*****g snow forecast
F**K THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO LONDON
DEC 20TH
it's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen
for years the wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch
watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees
and covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
DEC 24th
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering
as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and
bush covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first
time ever and loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement.
Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our
driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and
waved. I waved back and shovelled it away again. The children next
door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a
snowball fight, a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a
couple back and joined in their fun.
DEC26th
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped
to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes
snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway
again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick
again.Much of the snow is now a brownish - grey.
JAN 1st
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became
ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our
cars. Fell on my arse in the driveway. Went to a physio but nothing was
broken.
JAN 5th
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to
work. She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right
wing. Had another 8 inches of white ****e last night. Both vehicles
are covered in salt and iced up slush that ******* snowplough came by
twice today. Where's that bloody shovel.
JAN 9th
More f*****g snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been
damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing
to death with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly
torched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd
Degree burns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car hit
a f******g deer on the way to casualty and was written off.
JAN 13th
F****** b******d white ****e just keeps on coming down. Have to put on
every article of clothing just to go to the post box the little c***s
next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that
carrot so far up the little pricks arse it'll take good surgeon hours
to find it. If I ever catch the arsehole that drives the snowplough I'll
chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the
b******d hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling
and then he accelerates down the street like Michael "f*****g"
Schumacher and buries the f******g driveway again.
JAN 17th
16 more sodding inches of f*****g snow and f*****g ice and f*****g
sleet and god knows what other white ****e fell last night. I am in court
in
3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice - pick.
Can' t move my f*****g toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus20
and more f*****g snow forecast
F**K THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO LONDON
